1) sometimes you can't, which is why a flip to 12/12 may be in order.
2) Yes, the first hair has to pop, but if you get down in the plant, more likely you'll see more.
3) From sexual maturity until they're placed into flower. You won't get them all to sex in veg.
4) Males will normally show one ball on each side of non alternating nodes along the main stem first, or at the non alternating nodes of the lower branches. (not a hard and fast rule of course, but a good guideline)
In the end, if you're unsure, just flip them. If they're that close to showing sex while in veg, it will only be a few days before you're positive in 12/12.